Charisma, Love & Success

What is charisma? My New Oxford American Dictionary defines it as "compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others."
From the book "Awaiting a Lover" in 2000, charisma is described as "a magnetic presence characterized by poise and a quality of wholeness. The radiance of a charismatic person emanates from a strong inner fire, mysteriously self-contained, by which one senses a devotion to creative exploration that owes nothing to the need to impress others. It is the individual's absorption in what attracts him or her that endows them with an aura of unselfconscious-attractiveness. There is an air of intensity that is felt by others as erotic and slightly dangerous. In fact, what is sensed is a love of life, which carries an extra electrical charge."
By that definition, it seems that the best way to attract interest, then, is to lose yourself in pursuit of your life, that is, to become so involved in what interests you that you do not worry about who is watching or what they think. This reaffirms the idea that confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac. But there are other benefits as well.
Dr. Viktor Frankl said, "Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued. It must ensue. And it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself."
When we focus on what is important and strive to do our best, good things come to us. Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
And Horace Mann, the great educator, said, "In vain do they talk of happiness who never subdued an impulse in obedience to a principle. He who never sacrificed a present to a future good, or a personal to a general one, can speak of happiness only as the blind speak of color."
Lucius Annaeus Seneca said, "It is within the power of every man to live his life nobly, but of no man to live forever. Yet so many of us hope that life will go on forever, and so few aspire to live nobly." Abraham Lincoln made the same observation when he plainly said, "When I do good, I feel good; when I don't do good, I don't feel good."
The Chinese stress the importance of inhibition in matters of the heart, according to "Awaiting a Lover." They speak of receptivity and not pursuit, drawing someone to you instead of hunting them down. Attracting a lover requires the wisdom to know when to hold back, when to pursue. But the holding back is the most effective, most of the time. The decision to woo, or court, must arise in the heart. The quiet power that will encourage someone to approach grows naturally from this source, when the heart is constant and the motive is good."
So, keep in mind that "knowing what you want is the first step in drawing it toward you," and remember, too, that once you have attracted the right person, to do as Charlotte Yonge wisely counseled: "The mistake we make is when we seek to be loved, instead of loving. What makes us cowardly is fear of losing that love."
"It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things," said Henry David Thoreau. Tend to your life, tend to the business of living it well, and be patient. Love, or at the very least, peace of mind and a satisfied soul, will be yours.